• weight loss tea and powdered sugar donuts •

Fingers slicked white. Donut holes down the hole. Chase it with some hot green tea implying weight loss but catering to the lazy, instant gratification seeking goons. Piles of sugar atop my tongue, liquified by the herbal detoxifying river sweeping behind my teeth.

Yes.

This is gluttony at its finest.

The bingeing characteristics of a true indulgent lover of the satiable sweet. Sugar hits cravings in the face with a “Sit Down!”

All those cravings that inch their way across my skin, across my brain, now covered by sticky fingers and laced with hot tea. The moment she falls for the snickers she loses her dignity, her sanity. Sweet dreams cherry pie.

Little miss muppet sinks her fangs into dove bars, licks glucose from daydreams and coats her fears in a slick layer of sucrose. Belligerent and wasted on instant fixes and quick hits of the shit you get over gas station counters. There is no more room for sex and love and passion and heat, no space for the real kind of long term devotion. She’s off her rocker, hyped on rock candy, lit up on pop rocks. I am binging on life’s sweetness, the synthetic kind of pleasures. The ones that leave you hungover with too much recollect of an evening spent drooling over donuts and pink licorice. Battle wounds of ulcers and blue tongues. Stained lips and sugar in my nail beds. Back down baby, this windup doll is only getting started…

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❥ Wake n Bake ❥

Heart Healthy Muffins:

A protein-bran-seed-fiber-fruit-nut packed morning snack to start a balanced day. Keep your stomach full and heart light!

muffinz
  • 3/4 cup flour
  • Another 3/4 cup flour
  • 3/4 cup oat bran
  • 3/4 cup flaxseed meal
  • 1/4 cup chia seed
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • 1/4 cup white sugar or honey or agave
  • 2 tsp baking soda
  • 1tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 and 1/2 cups shredded carrots ( buy in pre shredded then chop them fine.
  • 2 apples peeled and chopped fine
  • 1 cup of raisins or cranberries or both
  • One mushed banana
  • 1 cup nuts (mix raw pumpkinseeds with raw sunflower seeds and walnuts or slivered almonds)
  • 3/4 cup milk
  • 2 tbsp oil
  • 2 eggs beaten
  • 1 tsp vanilla

Mix together flour, flax, oat bran, brown  sugar, biking soda, baking power, salt, and cinnamon, in a large bowl.

Stir in carrots, apples, bana, raisins and nuts. 

In a separate bowl combine milk and vanilla and eggs. 

Then mix liquid ingredients with dry ingredients. Stir but don’t over mix. 

Fill aluminum muffin cups all the way to the top.

Sprinkle on the top of each…brown sugar, a few dried cranberries and some slivered almonds. 

Bake 350 for 15 to 20 min.   

They will be moist inside when done but not gooey.  Remove from muffin tin, cool then freeze in freezer style ziplock bags so you can enjoy these muffins for weeks to come! 

Moms recipe…She is the queen of crafty treats and a goddess in and out of the kitchen ❥

Bon Apetit!

Sacred Spaces ✨

What corners and spaces in your house, apartment, dorm, bedroom, studio, patio are important to you?

 What does your space say about you? How do they make you feel? What emotions and motivations do they trigger?

Now, what do you want to change or re-create? What is by your bedside table? Kitchen counters? Desk? Corners of your closet? Doorways? Shower?

Creating a sacred space can be an especially empowering and grounding part of your life, it has been for me. It started with a few crystals and a candle, then my traveling Aunt left a gorgeous Persian dish behind while passing through my home and I brought more stones and gems into this space. Now my sacred space is centered around a painting of Ginesha and a handmade dreamcatcher drapes above it. More candles, Oracle cards, polished stones from family and friends and incense in a hand painted box are placed in my space. It has become a small area in my home that I can come to first thing in the morning to bless the day, after a sweaty run to find my calm, and during a full moon to read my oracle cards and spend some time reflecting deeply.

I believe organization is important to this process of creating a sacred space meaning you should carefully and mindfully place your items in a cohesive manner to receive the highest vibrations from your altar.  Invite your favorite and most sentimental items into your space which allows for full and positive vibes.  It takes some time to collect and gather these powerful tools of guidance and sometimes they come into your space all on their own. Feathers, crystals, flowers, incense, sage, wood, geodes, buddhas, crosses, rocks, skulls, antlers, artwork, fabrics, tarot cards…these items are unique to you which makes this sacred space so, so special. The thoughtfulness put into this area will reflect your desires, emotional fluidity and even your frailty. It is often a soft space that must be treated as such. The power tools you may add to give your altar a solid platform for strength may be anything from a letter to a cactus. These will ground your altar.  There are also delicate items such as feathers and light fabrics, they can be the most powerful deadening on what they signify for you. I believe the most influential items are ones that speak to you, that have an undeniable energy when you hold them in your palms and they call your name as you dance around your space.  The reason you may come into this curated sacred space is different for all of us but there is usually a common thread of the desire to seek peace and presence in our ever-changing lives.

For those of you who already have a sacred space or altar, remember it is necessary to detox your space much like you would your digestive system. It feels SO good afterwards and even though its really tough to say goodbye to some things and it is undeniably time consuming I promise the lightness and replensihed environment you will have discovered is worth every moment and every tossed tchotchke.  There is always room for growth, we are never done with our selves, we are constant works of art, rough drafts and much like developing film in a dark room there are more ways than one to get to a beautiful end result…so enjoy finding, searching, developing, growing, transcending and guiding yourself to the happiest most influential place you can reach.

“To live a C R E A T I V E life. We must lose our fear of being W R O N G” -Joseph Chilton Pearce
These are some beautiful altars I stumbled across…each unique and delicately curated from their creators guided spirit…
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https://www.etsy.com/listing/162580898/similar?ref=error_page_redirect

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https://www.etsy.com/listing/192988239/alchemy-elemental-altar-tile?utm_source=Pinterest&utm_medium=PageTools&utm_campaign=Share

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http://thelivingwiccan.tumblr.com/image/64161408051

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http://blog.freepeople.com/2014/06/bring-5-feng-shui-elements-home/

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http://witchesandpagans.com/pagan-paths-blogs/to-be-a-witch/altars-a-ritual-in-the-making.html

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I hope you have found some inspiration to craft a sacred space in your own home…enjoy the process and create with purpose!


▼ In Between ▲

Buried under a midnight sky, a canopy of lace hung from eye to eye.

 •

Sipping stars out of her own naked hands

She calms herself with resilience to the cold,

pricked by night terrors and laden with curiosity.

  •

The midnight chills wake her again,

And so she finds herself,

Buried under space.

  •

She flips her face over to gaze at the earth in a new way.

Reversed and free falling, what if she lets go?

The horizon stretches west into the deep Pacific,

white caps dipping in and out of view.

The desire to fall grows heavy with each breath,

the willingness to escape comes much too easy.

  •

Footprints below trace compassion and respect,

For the earth and of her past.

 •

Moment to moment, breath to breath.

 •

Heels burn into the ground, rooting her between the physical and the spiritual.

Her mind is taken to a planet unknown,

not yet discovered, it may even exist in another dimension.

  •

Her vision tipsy with intrigue, lips suck in air, while a mouth sings freedom.

She once again finds herself searching for clarity between two moons,

Sleep is at bay, nerves electric with synergy, adapting to what could be, what is and what has been.

  •

Mindful awakening is what some may call it,

She calls it artistry, true communication with the mother earth and the quiet gods.

 •

She closes her palms and milky white galaxies seep through fingers…

She falters between consciousness and bewilderment.

 •

The lights fall out of place and once again she finds herself

Buried under space.

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XO

#Gratitude 🙌

What I am thankful for this week:

My friend X was magnetically pulled in by a painting on a wooden wagon holding prints of artwork on the Venice boardwalk…Ginesh or Ginesha was the Hindu god painted by a man named Eddie who had fingernails dirtier than a back alley. He told me about the tears and emotion that were poured into this painting as he worked for 7 months every night painting, spraying, doodling and crafting this piece of work. X bought me the painting, handed Eddie 10 dollars more than the asking price and Eddie signed the print with a toxic blue sharpie. I thanked him for sharing the sentiment behind his work and he hugged me, I couldn’t help but think about how dirty he was, an unbathed man with a highly awakened soul. Eddie is a contradiction but only because of my correlation between cleanliness and godliness, I now think of his humble being as clean in all the right ways.

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My stomach kicked with nerves as my younger brother Jack walked across the stage to receive his high school diploma. I felt like a part of me was walking across that stage with him because a part of my identity lies with Jack…thick bloodlines and a sense of humor bonds us. I was proud of this young man adorned in a purple gown and a floral lei he still is as masculine as his father and as stoic as his grandfather. Surrounded by a family of women he is easily the quiet one (which is not saying much).  Hugs, kisses, jumps, laughter, fears and pride joined us in a celebration for the graduate, although he was an hour late and we started partying before he got there, we were there for him. Mimosas, deviled eggs and family friends shared stories, old photos and new anecdotes with each other. Step siblings, ex-wives and girlfriends joined the conversations and goofy photos were taken to honor a day that signifies a moment in time that is necessary to document your story. Education is a necessity and a luxury…I was reminded how important sharing ideas is, wether its with a graduating class of high school students or my Iranian uncle Ebrahim. Communication is our link to understanding.

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My dad told me about his legacy he wanted to pass on to us, the importance of leaving us with something he created and would stay in the family, in his case it was architecture. I sat by his feet on the floor and he looked in my eyes with pained tears… His dreams to share his wealth with us was not fulfilled in the way he thought due to a traumatic divide in our immediate family. If only he knew what bountiful wealth he has given us that will never be held down with a dollar sign or forgotten as decades pass. He has given me optimism, gratitude and kindness, he reminds me to be be real and no matter who looks at you funny and how crazy you look, just do you.   He taught me that energy is what you give off not what what you take away. Act on emotion, tell the truth and give up your seat to a stranger.

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Walking down from a hike up to Sanitas, the rain started to fall as the sun set behind the proud Flatirons. I started to run, which turned into a sprint which carried me all the way home. Perspiration and precipitation coated me in memories from my hometown and childhood days and I kept saying, “look how far you’ve come, keep going, keep moving forward.” Running is so bittersweet for me, I have to kick so many negative voices to the sidelines in order to persist and by the end I am in pain but oh so relieved, refreshed and proud of my body.

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These are the moments that remind me I am  A L I  V E.

Gratitude is all we have, so wakeup and say thank you 🙂

🙌

What are you grateful for today? Yesterday? In this moment? Write it down and don’t forget it.

Discovered this beautiful Ted Talk today…Enjoy

M E T A morphosis ⚜

He chases the sun which leads to her ribcage…fragmented beams hug tightly to her outstretched torso
She is reaching for the clouds, he is reaching for her
Ripped levi’s and knit sweaters barely show her curves, but he knows them like the backs of his hands and understands them with the strum of his thumbs
A small slice of shadow hides her eyes and tension builds in her stomach as she stretches further towards the skylights…Pulling her limbs away, she resembles a chrysalis…once concealed but she begins to understand her potential, thus transformation unfolds
Shedding parts of daylight and moonlight and memories and enemies…the cracking of youth splits from her spine, she flicks skin from her fingers and the breakage of her shell reminds him why he stayed
Strength appears in many forms.
 
Her transformation is the definition of her fears…her blossoming belly and sand stained skin blushes in the midst of her lean angled limbs.
 
Wrist to ankle, lids to lips, there is an undeniable awakening that is happening before his eyes
Can she see me?
The mountains hide the sun and her wings stay buried…splintered skin expose honest plans, her mind is made up but her body must follow
She is not quite ready.
He dips in to her torso…lips on ribs
Tight rippled skin shows bones like damp translucent paper, the watercolors of their lust pour through the night
Light becomes absent, they are birds seeking sight.
ribsArtist of Image Unknown

Momma, Don’t you know 💋

Mommy Dearest, 

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Sometimes the relationships that struggle the most are the ones that mean the most. My mother and I had our fair share of battles throughout high school. A divorce brought our family to its knees, there was a split in our infrastructure that would take more than a handful of nails to reconstruct. It would take the one thing that isn’t guaranteed in life…time. I reflect on those memories that have been suppressed for many years and I all I can say is ” Look how far we’ve come.”  

My mother Ann and I  have refused to let the past damage determine our current love for each other. We have risen from temporary distrust and entered into sacred faith and belief in each other. We are true supporters of each other as a mother daughter duo, as girlfriends, as women, as artists and seekers. There has been an unspoken recovery process between the two of us and all that matters to me now is the blossoming friendship that continues to abound.

I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without the committed love from my fabulous mother. She has been able to teach us without any books; a non-traditional educator. Instead, showing us what true confidence looks like, what total badassery is in the flesh, that age is no reason to stop fighting.  She carries herself with grace, style, humor and effortless strength.  She believes in learning new things, attempting the tumultuous and shooting far beyond what any expectations have been set. This is the mother I love, the one who has set the tone for my life because in all honesty we are all influenced by the women in our lives.  From the moment we are birthed into this tough and twisted world, our mothers make it their priority to unwind the knots,  help us make sense of the unknown and give us the luxurious comforts of love and support that is truly the only thing that matters.

“All we need is love…right Livi?”  She asked me this morning.

I respond with a “Yes.” Wishing I could squeeze her and thank her in person…the olive skinned, green eyed free spirit who is my cheering fan, drunk on passion and full of wisdom. I realize in this moment she needs acknowledgment, recognition and support just like the rest of us. Mothers may appear to be made of steel and reinforced with a diamond inlay but their resilience should not be taken advantage of. They need our love just like we need theirs, our lives depend on it. 

Thank you Mumsy. Thank you may seem like small words that are said often;  exchanged between strangers when doors are held and lattes are made, but for you my beloved Mumsy, thank you is simply a summary of my adoration, gratitude, praise and appreciation for the human being that you are. Thank you today and everyday. 

What I find most interesting is sometimes you do not receive love from the most expected sources. I am fortunate enough to have two healthy, supportive, successful parents who have stood by me every step of the way but for others, that love comes from outside sources;  friends, mentors, educators, therapists and as long as you find those people who will hold you up when everyone else tosses you down then I believe you will be OK.  Make sure to thank these soldiers and spirits for their work that is never done and to reciprocate, despite any past tribulations.

At the end of the day when you are ridden with guilt, judgement, anger or even hatred regarding your past, close your eyes and visualize the future, imagine what life can be like when all is forgiven and you will be set free.  Never go to sleep with anger on your tongue, never wake up with ‘what if’s’ spewing from your subconscious. Focus on the present, thank the heavens for who you have and love them unrequitedly.

➳ I am OK ➳

"Are you running away?"

"No. I am running towards myself."

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This is a question I have been asked by a few people and one I have asked myself for many years.

I find myself seeking refuge in the future, looking forward to what comes next. This may result in looking towards what hasn’t happened in order to validate my insecurities and quench my desperate thirst for something more.  Although I seem to crave change and spontaneity, I also fear it, I avoid it and I dance around it like a beach side fire; Waving my fists, inching closer to the flame but keeping a safe distance.  When I do go for it though, I really go. I leave. I face forward and I rarely look back.  All these years I thought I was running away from my past, from pain, from self-inflicted criticism and indecision…I now realize I was and still am running, towards myself, searching high and low for the woman I want to become.  I am seeking myself in new places, trying new things to test my willingness and my ability to adapt, to understand, to see more clearly, and to develop myself as an artist, an intellectual, a friend and a human. That is a wonderful realization, it calms me in knowing there is nothing I have to run from but everything I want to run towards

…Starting over, being single, moving, trying a new sport, meeting strangers, eating bizarre food, asking the hard questions, applying for jobs, navigating the roads, sleeping in your car, climbing a mountain, writing down your dreams, calling an old friend, asking for help, standing up for yourself, smiling fearlessly, crying when necessary, begin told ‘No’, getting my heart smushed, first dates, sleeping with the wrong person, stumbling on words, being rejected, holding someones hand, sharing a secret, facing the facts, calling your mom for advice, telling them your scared shitless, owning up to your mistakes, believing in love, trusting your gut, losing your phone and your wallet and your keys and getting your car towed twice in one month, falling asleep at the wheel, butt dialing your ex, making decisions, asking for a raise, reading too many books, avoiding your bills, car insurance, paying attention, networking, stopping and listening…

All of these are simultaneously happening….fleeting or not they are a part of our growth. The small things to the big ones from the mundane to the epically powerful, they all play a role in our unique human experience. Shaping our ideas, our ideology and our future selves.

I am practicing being present now more than ever. N O W. Right now. Although I am anxious to move in another direction, to contribute to the world in a fresh new way, to explore more avenues that may kick my ass and toss me into bewilderment…Right now, at this very small moment, I A M.

I am calm, I am still, I am exactly where I need to be. This small moment of pure existence is actually big and bold and can last longer than I ever imagined. I am practicing patience with the universe, with people and with time. In this moment it is ok to just be…to sit with my anxiety, my creativity, my spurts of song and incantations, my curiosity and need to connect.

Right now I A M.

Filling ourselves up with the moment is necessary. Taking the time to absorb the small sounds that dictate our worlds, to listen to the voices, the songs, the invasive murmurs, to mother earth and then to release them back to where they belong. Hear them without owning them, appreciate them without judging them. We sit with ourselves after a long day, a hard day, a fantastic day, a simple day, remind yourself to exist now without any judgement of the past, of the future and to embrace your solitude as it exists now. We will never get this moment back, make it great, make it count.

Meditation reminds me to chase my dreams but don’t lose sight of the journey. It is an extraordinary thing to accept where you are and to know you are ok, right now in this moment. Even if all seems lost and the journey becomes thick with disillusion. Finding my footing on rocky ground and pushing myself to become myself is the most monumental thing I can possibly do.

I am not running from my past, I am running towards myself…

 IMG_1942  Pt. Dume, Malibu CAIMG_1965

N A M A S T E

Yogi Toes: Whats in the bag? 😜

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My yoga bag comes with me everywhere…I never know when inspiration will strike. Finding my grounded self on the mat is a sacred experience. Wether its on the beach, in my room, in a studio or in the concrete jungle I want to have the option to seek my vulnerability in any surrounding! I love spontaneity but I am guilty of being prepared for almost anything…here are my essentials for a great yoga experience: 

My ideal bag is water-resistant, has big pockets, sealed zippers and an abundance of pouches for all my goodies!  I want to fit my yoga clothes, a hoodie, a pair of sandals and many snacks in one convenient bag. Brands with superb bag options are: Champion, LuLuLemon, Manduka.

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G A I A M Yoga Mat. Affordable, sweet colors/patterns and long-lasting.

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G A I A M Microfiber towel. Wicks away sweat, doubles as a cushion and can be used on top of your mat for hot yoga.

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Yoga blocks. Great to have on hand for certain poses,  helps with support for side angle twists!

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A sturdy strap for assisting with full extensions and guiding limbs to their sweet spots!

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H E M P Z sanitizer and lotion for after your practice. Clean, soft, smell-good hands (orange, ginger & amber) Mmm.

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Rosewater is my go to after a long practice. Spritz on face, hair and neck for a sweet and cooling effect.

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I N H A L E. Aromatherapy blended essential oils…peaceful aromas of lavender, chamomile and sage offer refuge.

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Addicted to my BurtsBees. Pomegranate is my favorite…subtle color with replenishing oils to soothe.

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K L E A N  K A N T E E N. One of the best things I own! Keeps tea HOT for 7-8 hrs and ICY drinks for more than 24!

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I always need a protein packed snack for before or after a workout/practice/run/hike. These nut/chocolate combos are delish!

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Candied ginger. A perfect way to clear the palate before and after your practice. Sweet, spicy and healthy!

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Clementines are a great fruit to carry with you on-the-go. Their convenient, a great hit of vitamin C and help with sugar cravings.

Clementines

Create the lifestyle you want by practicing habits of gratitude, eating to nurture and acting to thrive. Rinse out the negativity, flow with the wind, stretch for the stars and breathe in every ounce of oxygen possible to give yourself exactly what it needs. Control your environment and your body by starting with the breath.

Okay yogi toes, see you on those mats!

One love.

✌  ❤ ☝