Sometimes the relationships that struggle the most are the ones that mean the most. My mother and I had our fair share of battles throughout high school. A divorce brought our family to its knees, there was a split in our infrastructure that would take more than a handful of nails to reconstruct. It would take the one thing that isn’t guaranteed in life…time. I reflect on those memories that have been suppressed for many years and I all I can say is ” Look how far we’ve come.”
My mother Ann and I have refused to let the past damage determine our current love for each other. We have risen from temporary distrust and entered into sacred faith and belief in each other. We are true supporters of each other as a mother daughter duo, as girlfriends, as women, as artists and seekers. There has been an unspoken recovery process between the two of us and all that matters to me now is the blossoming friendship that continues to abound.
I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without the committed love from my fabulous mother. She has been able to teach us without any books; a non-traditional educator. Instead, showing us what true confidence looks like, what total badassery is in the flesh, that age is no reason to stop fighting. She carries herself with grace, style, humor and effortless strength. She believes in learning new things, attempting the tumultuous and shooting far beyond what any expectations have been set. This is the mother I love, the one who has set the tone for my life because in all honesty we are all influenced by the women in our lives. From the moment we are birthed into this tough and twisted world, our mothers make it their priority to unwind the knots, help us make sense of the unknown and give us the luxurious comforts of love and support that is truly the only thing that matters.
“All we need is love…right Livi?” She asked me this morning.
I respond with a “Yes.” Wishing I could squeeze her and thank her in person…the olive skinned, green eyed free spirit who is my cheering fan, drunk on passion and full of wisdom. I realize in this moment she needs acknowledgment, recognition and support just like the rest of us. Mothers may appear to be made of steel and reinforced with a diamond inlay but their resilience should not be taken advantage of. They need our love just like we need theirs, our lives depend on it.
Thank you Mumsy. Thank you may seem like small words that are said often; exchanged between strangers when doors are held and lattes are made, but for you my beloved Mumsy, thank you is simply a summary of my adoration, gratitude, praise and appreciation for the human being that you are. Thank you today and everyday.
What I find most interesting is sometimes you do not receive love from the most expected sources. I am fortunate enough to have two healthy, supportive, successful parents who have stood by me every step of the way but for others, that love comes from outside sources; friends, mentors, educators, therapists and as long as you find those people who will hold you up when everyone else tosses you down then I believe you will be OK. Make sure to thank these soldiers and spirits for their work that is never done and to reciprocate, despite any past tribulations.
At the end of the day when you are ridden with guilt, judgement, anger or even hatred regarding your past, close your eyes and visualize the future, imagine what life can be like when all is forgiven and you will be set free. Never go to sleep with anger on your tongue, never wake up with ‘what if’s’ spewing from your subconscious. Focus on the present, thank the heavens for who you have and love them unrequitedly.